These Signs Are All We Really Want To See In Our Lives
Where would we be without signs? That's a serious question! Signs tell us where to go, where not to go, what to do, and especially what NOT to do. They're everywhere: at businesses, in hospitals, on the side of the road, in front of churches, on the bus, and everywhere else you can think of. There are even signs that let us know whether the penguins at the zoo have been naughty or nice. Read on to see some of the weirdest, sweetest, funniest, and just plain "out there" signs we could find.
Don't Even Think About It
Taking public transportation definitely means giving up some freedoms. After all, you're sharing a pretty small space with lots of other people and everyone deserves to be as comfy as possible. But this sign outlawing things you wouldn’t even think about doing on the train is a little overboard. Just a little.
No sawing the seats? No guitar playing? No blowing smoke in your neighbor’s face or taking up two entire seats? Geez, lighten up some.
Hope You're Not Planning On A Long Stay
"Welcome to Accident." Um, no thanks. Think I'll just keep on driving until I get to the next town rather than stop at a place named for what Merriam-Webster defines as “a chance and usually sudden event bringing loss or injury.”
We did a little digging and it turns out that Accident is a town in Garrett County, Maryland. AS of 2010, the population of "Accidentals" (really, that's what residents are called!) was 325.
TMI Honesty
The folks who put up this sign (and the surveillance camera) obviously feel pretty bad for intruding on random people who walk past. They made that clear in the disclaimer under the part that notifies everyone that there's 24 hour video surveillance going on.
"Blame it on the guy who kept pooping here" says it all. We do blame him… who would do such a disgusting thing? We hope they at least caught him after putting the camera up.
We Hate Dogs That Poop
The people who made this sign should have just saved themselves the trouble and made a hand-written sign reading "we hate dogs and they're not welcome here." Heaven forbid someone accidentally enters this area while walking their dog.
According to the sign, any dog who dares to do its business in the area will immediately be attacked by a vicious raptor that they keep on the property just for this occasion.
And You Decided To Drive This Morning
We get that cities are becoming more bike-friendly, but this is just ridiculous. Some of us just have to take a car to get to work or run our errands. And according to this sign, we'd be forced to take a dip in the bay in order to cross this bridge that was apparently built for bikes only.
The funny thing is, even though it’s obvious that the sign was just hung on the wrong side (it should be placed over where the bike lane is), there actually aren’t any cars on the bridge at the moment. Just a few bikes.
There's No Excuse
This sign is terribly depressing. Even if global warming wasn't a thing, the fact that our world is full of people who are lazy enough to throw their trash on the ground is just too much.
We love this sign though, because of the devastating way it insults litterbugs. But you just know that the people who actually read the sign and appreciate it's message are already not the ones who are trashing the world.
Help Others, Don't Block Them Out
Now here's a message we need to hear today more than ever. Help each other and make the world a better place by doing so. If you’re fortunate enough to have a roof over your head and plenty to eat, maybe extending a hand to the less fortunate is a better idea than building a taller fence around your house.
This sign belongs to the Canadian Memorial Centre For Peace, which makes sense.
Kissing Up To The Tourists
Finland is freezing in the winter. That's not exactly a secret or anything. I mean, temperatures can get down into the -50 degree range... not exactly the weather most of us are looking for when we pick a vacation destination.
So Helsinki's tourist board made the brilliant move of hanging this huge banner outside the airport's arrivals terminal. It basically tells tourists to the area that they're total badasses for daring to brave the cold. It's a pretty modern way to thank people for bringing their tourism money despite the weather.
Where's The Question Mark?
You could make an argument for two different situations here and be correct for either. First, that this store sign is missing a "B" at the beginning of the message. That's clearly what’s actually happened here, that the B is burned out.
However, the sign would also work if you left the B off and added a question mark at the end. That would leave the philosophical question, “Are feet shoes?” which could be an interesting discussion to have over coffee.
Happy To Support 'The Little Man'
Someone please direct us to this mom and pop business so we can become customers and help this family pay for their children's dance lessons and team jerseys. What a great message to share with their customers!
In this day and age of the Amazons and Walmarts pushing the little guys out of the picture, it's extra important to support your small and locally-owned businesses. These people are your neighbors and friends, and their children are friends with your children. We love this sign and all it represents.
Starbucks Better Watch Out
We hope the folks over at Starbucks are shaking in their coffee-stained boots. You see, the Tire Discounters outlet a few blocks away is getting into the pumpkin spice game and they're doing it just as early in the year as the coffee giant.
Seriously, this sign poking fun at the pumpkin spice obsession in our country is totally freaking hilarious. We'd absolutely buy our next set of tires here. Just not the pumpkin spice ones.
Use Yah Blinkah
It's kind of absurd how many people out driving on the streets and highways don't even understand the common courtesy of using the car's turn signal. It's a pet peeve for many folks when drivers just switch lanes without even signaling.
This highway sign is perfectly making fun of people who don't use their blinker while also telling them that they should. We love that they did it in a northeastern accent, too: "use yah blinkah" instead of "use your blinker."
Naughty And Nice, We Like Them Both
Awww, this is the kind of sign we need much more of! The folks at this zoo must have a blast with the penguins since they made up this cute and hilarious sign that tells visitors which of them is the "naughty penguin of the month" and which is the "nice" one.
Timmy stole fish and pushed another penguin down, bumping him to the naughty list. But Betty waited patiently for her fish and as a bonus, is a good swimmer. We love them both.
Which Door?
These restroom doors are pretty funny, even if they're a bit sexist. The one on the left simply says, "Bla." But the one on the right says "bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla." Can you guess which door leads to the women's room?
It's a play on the fact that women tend to travel to the bathroom in pairs or groups, and often gossip while they're in there together.
Oh, Cell No!
The people responsible for putting up highway safety signs have seriously upped their comedy game in recent years. The signs just keep getting funnier and funnier. Well, not the ones advising that there's bad traffic ahead or lane closures, but lots of them are hilarious.
Like this one telling people not to text and drive with a play on the expression "oh, hell no!" We just hope this sign isn't too distracting to otherwise attentive drivers.
Did Jack's Make This Sign?
Hey, sign us up to sit at the Old Fart Table at Jack's! Jack's looks like a pretty tasty place to grab a bite, and you just know that all those old farts are full of funny stories and tales of lives well lived.
We just wonder whether the restaurant made this sign in honor of their loyal customers or if the old farts themselves made it and bring it in for their weekly meeting.
You're Welcome And We're Sorry
This sign seems to be advertising something great for its customers while also letting them know that it's not as great as they're making it sound. "Free Wifi. Fast like Ferrary [sic] but sometimes slow like Ferry."
Hey, most of us don't expect free, blazing fast wi-fi when we're out and about. Kudos to this store owner for offering wi-fi at all and for coming up with a funny sign to entertain their customers.
Thanks For The Heads Up
If we had to guess, this sign was spotted in a huge party town like Key West, Florida or maybe in New Orleans, Louisiana. Although it's meant to be a joke (we think?) it's probably not a bad idea to let drivers know that the pedestrians who are out and about might be a bit wobbly on their feet.
If, somehow, this sign is completely legit then maybe this town needs better crosswalks or free rehab for its residents and visitors.
A Differnt Bathroom Sign
Here's another bathroom sign, but this one has a very different take than the one we saw earlier. The first one came across as a little sexist (assuming that all women go to the bathroom to gossip in groups) but this sign, with its mermaid and horse, is clearly saying "we don't care either way -- just wash your hands."
There's a good chance this one came about in response to some of the gendered bathroom laws that have been put in place across the country in a few areas.
He Looks Ferocious
We're not really buying that we need to beware of this tiny dog. Sure, dogs of any size can bite but he just doesn't look that dangerous. And we're guessing that his bark isn't even loud enough to alert his people that there are visitors to come deal with.
At least, that's our theory on why people are being instructed to ring the bell as they beware the dog. But who knows?
Well, I Really Wanted To Hit The Sign
At first we wondered what on earth was going on here that required the placement of this bizarre sign. Was there another sign there before that people just couldn't stop themselves from hitting and they had to replace it with this one clarifying that you'll hit the bridge as well?
And then we realized that the sign is meant to warn big-rig truck drivers that they'll take out the bridge if they don’t clear the sign. That’s a pretty serious risk right there.
My Kind Of Highway
Believe it or not, these "Fatigue Zone" road signs are all real and have been placed along a highway in Australia. Anyone who has driven a long and boring stretch of road for hours will definitely appreciate this effort by the government to keep people entertained (and awake) as they drive across the huge country.
We love that the provide the answers in followup signs. This is such a neat idea.
He'll Get You One Way Or Another
"Never mind the dog, beware the owner." These novelty signs are kind of lame on their own, but this one adds a whole new element with an array of lethal weapons depicted around the message. There's a gun, a whip, a knife, a sword, some blow darts, and a few other things.
The underlying theme here is that this homeowner is going to get you one way or another so it's probably best not to try and sell him any Avon.
So Much To Remember
The last time I went hiking, I saw a sign similar to this one but it was for black bears. I studied it for a good few minutes before daring to enter the woods, because I wanted to be sure to remember all the things I needed to do if I ran into a bear.
What are the odds that someone will remember all of these instructions if they suddenly find themselves face-to-face with a menacing mountain lion? It's good info to have, but will likely be forgotten and the person will probably end up picking up their kids (bending as they do so) and running away just like they're not supposed to.
Unpreventable
We're not sure if we're interpreting this sign correctly, but it appears that this is in a "get hit by a car no matter what" zone. There's no other information on the bright yellow sign, just a car that's' hit a pedestrian who is now sailing through the air.
Usually there would be some other warning, such as "look both ways before crossing" or "caution: drivers are blindfolded." But in this one, it appears that you will inevitably be hit no matter what you do.
Um, We Are Not Going Into Those Woods
This is a great sign for keeping people off your property! It shows a person entering the wooded path and being grabbed at by a bunch of creepy hands. To top it off, the sign has been painted to look like there's dripping blood on it, and the whole thing has been attached to the tree with a rusty nail.
We can pretty much guarantee that this property owner doesn't get a lot of drop-in visitors.
Pass On The Left
There's something about driving that can bring out the worst in people. A lot of time it's due to the fact that a lot of drivers don't know the basic rules of the road and make things difficult for everyone else.
The left lane is supposed to be used for passing only -- something every driver with half a brain knows. But a lot of idiots park themselves in the left lane and drive at the speed limit, slowing everyone else down. This highway sign is the perfect way to remind people to get out of the left lane!
Missed Call
This kid might be ticking off all the people sitting behind him with this huge sign he's waving around. But anyone who can see it is probably pretty tickled by it. The sign is in the shape of a giant cell phone and the message, if you can't read it, says "Referee, missed call."
Pretty clever, if you ask us. We just wonder what the ref thinks about the message. It's a tough enough job even when you're not getting heckled.
When You Just Want To Protest Anything
There's an argument made by many people that eggs don't need to be kept in the fridge. Wikipedia even says that "in many countries in Europe and around the world, it's fine to keep eggs at room temperature for a few weeks."
This protester is not trying to hear any of that nonsense. She's clearly a member of the "eggs must be refrigerated" camp and she wants the world to know it.
Fighting The Kiddoes
Christmas Bazaar and Craft Show! Well, that sounds like fun... sign me up! And it's on a Sunday from 10-4, I can totally make that. There's even a visit from Santa Claus to look forward to.
But what's this other part? "Fight children with diabetes?" That sounds pretty terrible. How on earth did this sign end up being printed this way? We understand what they meant but this is awful.
Condescending Much?
OK, so this person is clearly ticked off that delivery people don't ring the doorbell when they're bringing him his precious Uber Eats meal or gadget from Amazon. But this is pretty condescending, printing the Wikipedia page for "doorbell" along with an arrow pointing at the doorbell and a handwritten note. "This is a doorbell. It seems people are having difficulty understanding its purpose" and goes downhill from there.
Not sure about you, but I'd think twice about insulting anyone who was delivering food to me.
Get The Juggler First
Lol, we wonder what kind of business has this sign hanging out front. "If attacked by a mob of clowns go for the juggler." This is a cute play on words from the expression "go for the jugular (vein)."
We can only imagine how terrifying a clown attack would actually be. There are some seriously scary clowns out there. Not to mention the Insane Clown Posse and their Juggalos. We would not want to get into a confrontation with a group of those guys.
Carpenter Humor
This sign is pretty cute and there are probably different versions of it hanging in woodworking shops across the country. "Measure twice cut once" usually means that mistakes (such as cutting off more than you meant) won't happen. Oops, the "e" at the end of "twice" couldn't fit here.
If you're looking for a Father's Day gift and your dad is into workshop humor, this could be a pretty good bet.
We Wouldn't Want That, Would We?
Sometimes it seems like people who work at the zoo have a lot of contempt for humans and we really can't blame them. After all, not only do many humans lack common sense but some of them behave as if they're animals themselves, breaking zoo rules because they're gonna do what they want to do.
The zoo lays it out in simple terms on this sign. Don't climb the fence because if you fall in you'll make the animals sick. There's no concern for the human's well-being here, and why should there be?
Modern Times Call For Modern Signs
Dur is an expression that's used to comment on something stupid or foolish that someone does. This sign probably witnesses tons of "dur" moments every day as it stands here on the street corner. Guy walks by with his face buried in his phone and nearly gets hit by a car because he wasn't paying attention: that's a dur.
And the woman who leaves her laptop visible in the front seat of her car as she parks to run errands... that's another dur. This sign is definitely needed in our modern times.
No Place In This World
Awww, this poor sad billboard is upset because it has lost its view. Most likely because of that generic-looking office building that's towering right in front of it.
We wonder what type of view the billboard used to have before mean Mr. Building moved in. Do you think it was an ocean view? Mountains dotted with snow? Whatever it was, the sign is clearly distraught now and needs a good cheering up.
Now This Is My Kind Of Place
Finally, a place I can cut loose and really be myself! I need to find out where the Swearhouse is located and book a trip there ASAP. In reality, how often do the Men's Wearhouse employees actually look at their sign? Someone should probably have fixed the issue by now.
Or, better yet, maybe they should leave it. A rebranding can really help a business if it's done right. Which this one was.
Violators Will Be Trespassed
Whatever you do, don't feed the cats! If you do, you'll be subject to some really unclear and confusing punishment. We think whoever made the sign meant for it to say "violators will be escorted from the property" or something along those lines.
What's the big deal with feeding the cats, anyway? Are there hordes of people showing up with kitty treats every day just looking for a chance to fatten up the cats at Fishermen's Village? This whole situation is kind of confusing.
Um, Yeah, This House Is Definitely Not Haunted
Chase Hicks with United Country Realty certainly knows how to sell a house: by prominently displaying a message that the place is NOT HAUNTED. Is it just us, or does this seem like a pretty obvious sign that the house is in fact haunted? Possibly by an entire family of ghosts?
Supposedly, the practice of marking real estate as haunted or not began was a thing in New Orleans way back in the day. But we didn't know that it had spread to Savannah, Tennessee, where this photo was taken. Maybe Chase Hicks just has a good sense of humor.
Good Aim Is Appreciated Here
Just how bad to things have to get in the men's restroom before the management has a meeting and decides that a sign telling people to keep their streams inside the urinal would be appreciated?
Seems like it’d have to be more than an occasional dribble or puddle to get to this point. We really wonder about the kind of people who frequent this bathroom and why they have such bad aim.
